2011 MLB Tiered Cheatsheet

Part of the reason I put together my projections database and the resulting spreadsheet is to create this Tiered Cheat Sheet for use during fantasy baseball drafts.  The first version of the Cheat Sheet is now ready for download from several locations, namely:
Google Docs
Offfice Live
Buckaroo's Ballers Fantasy Sports website

Feel free to visit any of the three sites and get your own version of the drafting tool.  Make sure you check back for updates, too.  The date of last modification is just below the key to the left of the sheet.

2011 MLB Projections

My projections spreadsheet is up and ready for downloading.  It's huge (3.1 MB), so I had to save it to Office Live here.  I also saved it to Google Docs here.  My suggestion is to go to one of the links, and download the actual spreadsheet, then open it in Excel.  I created it in Excel 2007, but if you cannot open it, send me an e-mail at iganderson at yahoo.com and I will see if I can upload a copy in Excel 2003 format.  No promises on that front, however, since I am not certain all the formulas will carry backwards to the older format.
No need to pay attention to the AVE and SD columns, or for that matter, the Z columns.  The Stat columns (e.g., HR or ERA) are the averages of all the projections I used in creating the spreadsheet.
Next up:  a tiered cheat sheet.  But that is for another day.

Auction Values

You can see my auction values spreadsheet here or here.
Or if the embedding works, you can look at it below.  Office Live is acting kinda wonky lately, so you are prolly better off clicking one of the links above.  Viddy well, my droogies.

Mickey Mantle: Outstanding in Right Field (or under the bleachers, actually)

Mickey Mantle
Click on the link above if you are not easily offended, or if you do not worship Mickey Mantle as a person of great character.  It's a great example of Mick's humor, and does the history of the Yankee franchise proud.

BCA

I was talking with my wife the other day about the various hats I wear and the groups I belong to these days.  She joking brought up a designation I had developed when we were in our senior year at U of M-The BCA.  The acronym refers to the "Brahmin Class of America." If you are interested, the Wikipedia article about the Hindu caste Brahmin is here, but basically the Brahmin class was composed of the teachers, scholars and priests of Hindu society.  I was an arrogant young punk in college, I admit, even for a student at Michigan (I never really was insulted by Darryl Rogers "arrogant asses in Ann Arbor" comments, especially since he backed up his words).  But, I did and do believe that most college/university students do belong to the BCA, at least until graduation and stepping into the work-a-day world.  The time you lucky fortunate students spend studying, debating, philosophizing and enjoying yourselves should be one of the best of your lives, so enjoy your status while you can.  If anyone tries to tell you that being a scholar is a meaningless, trivial enterprise, just remember, membership in the BCA is a privilege and an honor to be savored.
I may write about this further, but at this point, I simply wanted to get it posted so I would not forget about one the groups I value my membership in, even if I was its founding member.

Oh, the humanity

I just posted this on one of my Facebook friend's pages in response to this posting:

“As I look out the window, I see a very beautiful planet that seems very inviting and peaceful. Unfortunately, it is not. 

These days, we are constantly reminded of the unspeakable acts of violence and damage we can inflict upon one another, not just with our actions but also with our irresponsible words. 

We are better than this. We must do better,”
-CMD Scott Kelly

I agree we can do better, but a glance at human history depicts a different tale.  Man's inhumanity to man has been manifest in our cultures for untold generations.  It really is up to each of us to make the world a better place, a safer place, a place we can live in peace.  I may be a cynic, since I don't expect that to happen in my lifetime, but I will do my best to make it happen around me.

Now, I will admit I am cynical, possibly the biggest cynic among my friends.  But I also live by the Attorney Code (adopted from the Repo Code as related my Harry Dean Stanton in Repo Man, an excellent cult classic and probably Emilio Estevez's best work).
The Attorney Code:
I will not, through action or inaction, allow any harm to come to my client, nor through action or inaction, allow harm to come to my client's property. 
The corollary to the Code is that to the best of my ability, I will strive to make any situation better for all involved, if at all in my power to do so or if it is within my ability.
There is justice, there is fairness, and rarely do the two dovetail, but I have considered it my duty to make any and all attempts to make the world a fairer, more just place for the poor suffering bastards (that would be a good name for a band, I think it is already a name for a drink in the singular tense) that inhabit it, me included.

Enough pontificating.  Back to your regularly scheduled nonsense.

The Greatest Letter Ever Printed on NFL Team Letterhead via Deadspin

I usually only post Drew Magary's work from Deadspin here, but this is far too exceptionally wonderful to pass up the opportunity to make more widely known.  Yeah, I know, from this blog, more widely known is a misnomer, but grant me my delusions.
The Greatest Letter Ever Printed on NFL Team Letterhead

As an attorney, I wish I had been practicing back in the 70's.  If I wrote a letter like that today, I'd prolly lose my license.

The Other 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time

No need for explanations, just watch and enjoy.  Oh, and make sure you check out the original 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time in my post from December 30th of last year.

Fantasy Sports Warriors Slow Mock Draft

I am participating in a slow mock draft for the Fantasy Sports Warrior site.  This is a 16 team baseball draft, which consists of 22 rounds.  Typical 5x5 stats, that is to say, HR, R, RBI, AVG, SB & W, S, ERA, WHIP, K.  We will draft 13 offensive players (C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, CI, MI, OF, OF, OF, OF, OF, UT) and 9 Pitchers (SP and RP as we see fit.
Here's a link to the spreadsheet I have set up to track the draft on GoogleDocs.  Still trying to figure out how best to export this to Tableax Public, but don't hold your breath on that coming soon.  I have also embedded the spreadsheet below, but this may not be the best way to get the data, due to the size of the spreadsheet on this blog's page.  I have to think about this for the rest of the year before I decide if it works.

I will update as each round finishes or as time permits.  Any comments or suggestions regarding picks is appreciated. 
Note that my projections are based on the 2011 Bill James numbers, which I always found to be a bit conservative.  You can get your own glimpse of those projections by going to FanGraphs and looking over the individual player pages.  The projections tab will take to where you want to go.
Also, I will be running weekly mock drafts on Mock Draft Central for Fantasy Gameday come February until the end of spring training.  If you are interested in participating, just post a comment or go to the Fantasy Gameday site and leave us a message.  Or read my articles for the link to the drafts.  Hell, I'm easy.

The true story behind the Metrodome roof collapse

All we've been given to explain the collapse of the roof at the Metrodome is that one video taken by security cameras, that gave no clue as to the real cause.  Until now.  Thanks to the generous Walter Cherepinsky of Walter Football I am proud to present the truth to all my readers:

How did the roof collapse at the Metrodome? 

Note that you need to click on the image in this post for the GIF to play properly.  Or just go over to Walter's page at the link above.  We are all about giving you options at Planet 10.

100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time

There are a number of these collections on YouTube.  Just do a search for hh1edits and revel in the glory.  Here's the latest I've found:

Dane Sanzenbacher mugshot

Also from the wonderful Walter Football site, take a gander at the image for Dane Sanzenbacher on his Wikipedia page.  Beauty, eh?

CNN makes a boo-boo

Live TV is filled with a lot of inane talking heads, especially on CNN, Fox, and MSNBC.  But then you get a brilliant bit of unintended humor like this:



A tip o' the cap to Midwest Sports Fans for alerting me to this gem.

Funny or Die: You Look Like Shit

Not too sure about the posting rules here, but I am assuming I have a bit more freedom than on Facebook.  Here's Funny or Die's video montage:

You Look Like Shit Megamix - watch more funny videos

I have to admit, this struck a particular cord with me this weekend, after getting hit by a virus on Saturday night and then straining my back on Sunday evening/Monday morning.

Cami Secret Parody (Boob Apron)

Made by slave children overseas...

The Big Fuckin' Football Show: Pats/Browns

I recommend this highly.  Thanks to my good friend Andrea LaMont for the heads up.


I especially like Human Growth Harrison at the 1:10 mark.  "I played for Bill Belichick. He's a moody (mofo).    He hates Eric Mangini almost as much as he hates losing.  So when he loses to Eric Mangini, get the fuck out of the way of that 100 mph shitstorm."
Or Dungy Ghost almost immediately afterward:  "...his former protégé, which is the french word for peepee drinker."

Ochocinco: the voice of reason?

From NBC's PFT, quoting the imminently quotable Chad Ochocinco:

"If anyone else out there feels that Rex Grossman gives the Washington Redskins a better chance than Donovan McNabb to win a game with two minutes left on the clock," Ochocinco said, "they need to slap they selves."

All this because Mike Shanahan, the Redskins' head coach, tried to explain away his bizarre decision to bench his starting QB at the end of Sunday's game in Detroit against my hometown Lions in favor of the backup QB, "Sexy Rexy" Grossman.  Shanahan explained that McNabb lacked the cardiovascular fitness to run the two-minute drill.  Of course, I applaud the decision, since Grossman fumbled on the first snap from center, which led to Ndamukong Suh's stroll into the endzone while brushing off the attempted tackle of Santana Moss-see the video here.  I've railed against Shanahan in the past, most recently here on the FantasyGameday site (hey, check out our new, spiffy design!), but this act of desperation is a real reach.  Oh, well, helped the Lions get win number 2, so it's not all bad.
 UPDATE:  It now appears that the Redskins are working out JaMarcus Russell...now that is beyond my capacity to comprehend.  At least he's apparently been cleared of the earlier codeine possession charges, or at least a grand jury failed to indict him on that charge.  Now that he's a model citizen, it would not be unexpected to read or hear about how he is "in the best shape ever during his NFL career."  I did read that he's dropped 35 pounds, but that doesn't exactly make him a svelte, elusive target for the defense to pursue-I predict that despite his tribulations, if he were to sign with another team, it would not be long before he regained his lackadaisical manner on and off the field. He still looks like a tub of goo, but I wish him and Mikey S. well.

Pain

I am pretty sure I've praised Drew Magary of Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber before, especially his work on tearing apart dissecting Peter King's MMQB piece for SI.  This description of pain, however, deserves its own posting:

Pain is a terribly lonely, isolating thing. It's like depression, only it comes armed. By definition, pain is the brain's way of letting you know something is wrong somewhere in your body. In that sense, pain is a thought. And it's a thought that, no matter how hard you try, you cannot possibly express to someone else. It's all your own. No one can know exactly what it feels like. No one else can feel it jumping in and out of various points on your body, like Nightcrawler disappearing and reappearing out of thin air. No one else knows about those times when it subsides, only to cruelly come roaring back because you somehow displeased it in some manner. Pain will occupy your every thought while it's around. You cannot think about anything else, and you cannot engage with anyone else on a meaningful level while you're suffering from it because FUCK THIS HURTS. It makes you a different person, one who is monstrously self-absorbed and all too aware of that fact. Whenever my back gives out and my leg begins screaming in pain, I always picture myself at 60 years old, too far gone for any useful treatment and condemned to spend the rest of my existence memorizing the ceiling tiles.

I've suffered a bit of pain in my life, including back pain and a month long bout of gout in both feet.  I must say, that is a great description of what pain is and how it can topple you with its cruel indifference.  Still, I prefer to read about happier things, like this.

Some football information on the periphery

Walter Cherepinsky of the wonderful fantasy sports site, Walter Football, has some interesting observations with a football focus buried away in his week 5 picks report.  I will reproduce them for you, but I also suggest you bookmark his site if you are at all interested in football, fantasy or NFL, in any fashion.

Some random NFL notes I can't put anywhere else: 

1. Radio host Big Daddy Graham on 610 WIP (Philly sports talk) brought up a great point on Sunday night. He criticized Jason Avant for pointing toward the sky after he made a 6-yard reception against the Redskins. Like really, you need to thank God after a measly 6-yard catch? And where was God when the ball slipped out of your hands on the Hail Mary attempt at the end of the game? Avant should have looked toward the ground and made a fist at Satan at that point. 

2. If you've never had a concussion before, take a look into the mindset of Jay Cutler on Sunday night. Cutler tweeted while he had a concussion, and he had some interesting things to say on his Twitter account. 

3. What's up with NBC's stupid halftime feature called the Tiny Football League? First of all, no one cares about this. Except maybe Brad Childress and various child molesters. And second, I'm uncomfortable listening to a guy call two little kids "smooth and sweet." Not that there's anything wrong with that - I guess. 

 © 1999-2010 Walter Cherepinsky : all rights reserved

I will admit to following @NotJayCutler and @KingLaserFace on Twitter, but the tweets from Oct. 3rd are truly priceless (see link in item 2 above).

Megatron's No-Catch

Anyone who has read this blog for a while knows I play fantasy sports.  The degree of my involvement has grown over the years from my first auto-drafted Yahoo league to now, where I am in 27 fantasy football leagues this season.  Even if I had Calvin Johnson on all my teams (I have him on a significant number this year, to be sure), I don't think I would get this upset (WARNING:  BAD LANGUAGE.  NSFW.):



I am all about passionate intensity
/rereads Willam Butler Yeats The Second Coming/
but this is a bit over the top.
Mitch Albom of the Freep has a more reasoned take on the incident, if you are interested.
And...for a even better analysis of the controversy, take a look at Eric Huber's article on Fantasy Sharks.com.  As an attorney, I appreciate the way he analyzed the rules involved.