Friendship Tiers

3/25/80
One more time:
Today, I knew as I arose from bed, would be one of
those days where I needed solitude. I didn't want to even think
about seeing someone before tonight. So the first thing I did
was go to my mailbox and empty it of the contents--a letter,
a hand-addressed invitation, two magazines and the morning
paper. I brought it all back into my apartment and threw it
on the chair. It was time to perform the ritual of daily preparation,
I thought, enter:ing the bathroom.
I showered with Mozart playing on the tapemachine. I
have always prefered classical music for the first waking
hours. It soothes. And considering how I usually feel when
I wake, soothing things are necessary. Sometimes I even think
that classical music is better than a woman at soothing me.
But of' course, that's a manic notion, produced only by the
foggiest of' brains.
I dressed, then sat down to read my mail. The letter
was from an old friend, Toni, who told me that she would be
in town tomorrow. I could reach her at the Holiday Inn.
The magazines were garbage, and I filed them as such.
But the invitation was definitely not to be disregarded so
easily. It was a wedding invitation. To Julie's wedding.
 Jesus.
I sat there,the invitation in my hand, stunned, I
noticed the date: June 25, two days from today. It must have
been a last minute decision to send me the invitation--the
r.s.v.p date was long past.
A little note fell out of the invitation. I unfolded
it, reading "Dear Justin••• please come to my wedding. This
isn't just an announcement, it's an invitation. Julie"
Wonderful. Justin Stone and Guest were invited to
Julie's wedding.
I stood up, walked over to the stereo. I knelv exaotly
what to play. J:t lvould take alot more than olassioal musio
to calm me down. I put on Lou Reed's Berlin. I sat baok
dOlVIl, and pioked up Toni's letter. "I'll be in town tomorrow',
the 23rd," I read.,.Holy shit, I thought, that's today, I :found
my phone book and oalled the Holiday Inn.
I sat in the bar, drink.ing a gin and tonio, thinking
that my need :for solitude had been de:finately blown at this
point. The bar was dark, orowded and noisy. But there were
compensations--Toni sat across from me,
"I need a date for' a weddi.ng," I told her. "How long
are you going to be in town?" I hadn't seen Toni in over
two years, In that time, we'd written and talked on the
phone, but I didn't get muoh ohance to travel, and Toni lived
nearly 2000 miles away. It precluded :frequencfcontaot.
"I'm going to bEl here as long as I like. I'm looking
for a plaoe to live•••I deoided to move baok home."
"That's good to hear. liould you J.i,ke to go to the
wedd:l.ng with me?" I asked,
"Sure, Do I know the bride or groom?" Toni called
the waitress over :for more drin1~.
liThe groqm I don't know, but 'lh e bride is ,Tuli e. ReH1UjW~
er Julie?" I polished off the last of my drink, handing
the empty glass to the waitress, She set a fresh drink in
front of me.
"Oh, Jesus, I can't believe this. Are you serious,
J'ustin? You're going to Julie's w'edding'l Don' t you think
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that's asking for trouble?" She shook her head.
believe it."
"i just can't
"Trouble? Trouble for whom?" I asked innocently.
IIFor you. if'the groom finds ou·t who exactly y:ou are.
Boy, you have 'got guts, unbelievable guts.
HI'll go wi th you. It shoul.d be fun."
We left the bar sometime around siX.
some food," Toni sai,d.
Surei!lI she smiledii'
"It's time to eat
"J!'irst," I responded. "can we go up to your room? I
have a surprise, something we could both use af'ber all that
drinldng. "
Toni raised an. eyebrow, a new habit.
said, but we went to the room even so.
"011. yeah?" she
"I don't believe this either. Cocaine? You don't
do this all the time, do you?" She accepted the thin roll of
the twenty dollar bill and bent over the mirror.
"No. I just happened to hll.ve done this man a favor
and he paid me off this way. I like this sort of payment,
actually." I took the twenty from her and pulled the mix'ror
closer.
"M! I ll.gree. But it's ,just too expensive to buy."
"1l1ha t ll.re you talking about? You're a goddamned millionaire
heiress••• when did you start wor,:tng abou'c expense?"
"I haven't ••• ignore the remark. Chalk it up to drinking
all, afternoon." She pulled the mirror over tow'ards herself
again.
Toni insisted we take her car. "I saw this little
taco stand on the way in. I feel a real need right now for
tacos fl II
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Who was I to argue, I thillught. Ju.st because I didn't
know of any taco stands around was no reason to contradict
Toni.
10e drove around town :for an hour. "Guess I was wrong,
I thought there was a taco place here. Oh well, then let's
get some :fish and chips," she said as she cut across two lanes
of traffic, pulling into Jim's Fish and Chips parking lot.
The place J.ooked f'airly inauspicious. That was good,
I felt. 'foni always had a tendency to cause scenes, But
then, so did I. It was an explosive mixture, a dangorous
combination, Toni and I,
The waitress was a stUdent of mino, "Coming in to
do some research, Prof'. stone?"
"N0, no. Barb," I read her name off the name tag"pinned
on her sweater, "It's merely a funotional visit," I smiled,
"Do: "yo.u think that this place should be researched?"
Toni asked Barb,
"Oh, for sure, I like to stUdy the rituals people
use in here\llt1
"'Then w"ri te your next paper on it, Barb. We'd like
two fish and chip dinners, please,"
Toni spoke as Barb left us, "'That's one of your
stUdents, right?"
"Of course, An enthusiastic stu.dent •• , she probably
will ,vrite her next paper on th1.s place," I shook my head,
"I can't ,,'ait."
"You're a terr:ible teacher, i1!"that's your attitude,
You should be glad for enthusiasm in your stUdents."
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"You+re absolutely correct," I agreed. "But these
enthusiastic ones 1vear me out. You know nw--the way of' nonresistence
and a].l that,"
~roni smiled, "That's right, you're still a Taoist.
I should have realized you wou:ldn' t have changed. Not that
you should•••I like you peaceful."
"So when does the action start?" Toni. whispered as
we left the cb~Arch.
"Soon enough, Don't get anxious," 'roni and I had
arrived late, and had been seated in 1:;;vo folding chairs by
the ushers, at the very rear of the church. Nobody had paid
us any attention, which was just f'ine 1vith me, I wondered
if' attending this wedding wouldn't turn out to ·~e a disastrous
strategic move on my part, Julie's husband was a lot larger
than me, and so were most of the ushers. I wondered fleetingly
if' they would find some sort of' excuse to stomp me tonight,
Best to keep low, I thought.
We'd reached Toni's car, I opened the door, prepared
to climb in Whml I heard someone calling my name, I turned,
It was Carolyn, "Justi n, what are you doing here?"
Surprised, out of breath" dressed in a pink wedding gown, ••
she must have seen us slipping out the back of' the church.
"I was inti ted. It would have been rude to turn her
invi tation down,"
"Her?" Caro].yn asked, suspiciously,
"Julie. Who e].se?" I climbed into the car and pulled
the door shut, "Cheerio," I yelled thru the window, "we've
really got to be going now." Toni let the clutch in and 1ve
left 1vith a stylish screech of the tires,
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standing at the bar, drinking free rum and cokes, Toni
said, "I still haven't seen any action. II
"It is notably calm around us, isn't it?" I finished
my drink, asked for a replacement. I turned from the bar to
face the room ag~n. "Uh oh, here comes trouble, II I muttered.
"Hi there, Justin," John stuck out his hand. "Good
to see you again. Didn't expect to, though, I must admit. 1I
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world." I didn't
want to shake his hand, but that would be rude. I accepted
his hand.
IIYep, I didn't think you'd dare to show up here,1I he
said, squeezing my hand. I wondered if he would try to make
me wince.
"There's nOr question of a dare being involved. I
was personally invited by the bride." He was trying to
make me wince. I ch~ged my grip and pressed on a pressure
point. He shook free, and stuck his hand into his pocket.
"lVhat 's wrong? Did I harm you in some way?" I asked, n:ice1y.
He muttered about seeing me: later, and hurried. off.
I smiled and took Toni's arm. leading her to a table.
Dancing wi'th T.oni to a sl,01, jazz melody, I felt a tap
on my shoulder. "Next dance." Julie said and hurried off.
'roni lifted her face from my shoulder. "lvas that
Julie? Don't dance with her."
"I can't refuse. That'd be unduly rude."
IIIf you do dance with her. you'll probably be menaced
by the en:[;ire :I,edding1 ipa:i7l;y. You don't really want
that. do you?"
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"Well, you were complaining about a lack of excitement,
Here's your chance," The song ended, Ive drifted toward the
bar.
"Oh, shit. I guess it would be exciting, but I really
don't want to see you get the snot whomped out of you, I like
you just as you are." She smiled. "I leave you to your fate,"
"My karma," I corrected, as Julie hurried up. I sighed,
letting her lead me out to the dance floor.
J"ulie had always liked "to dance close, Now was no
exception. "Julie, please, not so close. I'd like to avoid
any trouble."
"You? Hah! You live on causing trouble. That's
why I knew you'd come. I'm glad you did••• it shows you still
care. It's flattering."
"Flattering or not," I replied, guiding her about the
dance floor, "it's going to cause friction. I really don't
want to ruin your wedding day, alright?"
Julie laughed. "You've made my wedding day by being
here. Don't worry about a thing. Just dance with me." So I
did.
The song ended and John, the best man, came up to
us. "You promised me the next dance," he told JUlie, staring
hard at me.
"Oh, sorry John. Next dance." The band started again.
John led Julie off to the middle of the floor.
HeanwhiJ.e, Bob nOlicha~ntly."strolled over to me.
"Listen, stone, I kno'" who you are and what you meant to
Julie. But that's all over--she's mine now." He smiled. "I
don't mean this to sound like a threat, but you can take it
that way; stay away from .Tulie."
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"So, I should take that as a threat." I sighed.
"lvnat I find hard to believe is tha'b she could've married such
au asshole. She doesn't belong to anybody, except herself.
Oh, and one more thing••• I don't respond well to threats.
If you:"re worried about your wife and I. then you're one of
the biggest. assholes I've ever met." ;,ith that, I strode of'f'.
Bob was persistent, I had to admit. He grabbed my arm,
spinning me around. "I don't have to put up with these insults.
Appologize. or I'm going to hurt you. Bad."
"X 'only 6tppologizewheti1ht'scalledfor, which doesn't
apply here." I glanced quickly about. Fortunately the dance
floor was dark and the band playing fairly loud, so Bob and
I hadn't drawn any undue attention as yet. "Do me a favor',and
try to aV0id ruining Julie's wedding day. You could at
least have consideration for her, if you don't care about
yourself."
Bob said nothing. I glanced about, trying to locate
Toni. No luck, but then Carolyn arrived on the scene.
"Excuse us, Bob," she said, leading me off to a table
near the wall. "You're crazy to be here, but you certainly
can't be considering having a confrontation with the groom?
I can't believe it.", Carolyn shook her head.
"Good, because it wasn't a confrontation by my choice.
He came up to me, started threatening me."
"Still, what did you expect? He's got to be worried
about your presence here, and then dancing with Julie like
that--well, you can imagine how he felt."
"Yes. Like a ,jealous asshole. I'm sorry. He's
an obnoxious sort and I don't like him. But I won't start
any trouble. I promise."
"Is that Toni wi th you?
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Carolyn looked doubtfUl.
What's she doing here?"
"She's moving back home. In fact," I said, rising,
"there she is. You'll excuse me." I walked over to Toni.
"You missed the whol.e thing, I suppose? When Bob
came over to threaten me with bodily harm?" I asked, accepting
the fre sh drink from Toni. "'rhanks. "
"Sure. You mean there was trouble? You didn't hit
him, did you?"
"No. In fact, until good old Carolyn interupted, I
was trying to calm him down."
"I really hate Carolyn." Toni made a face of disgust.
"Why?" I asked.
"Probably because she's always loved you, so any girl
you ever paid any attention to, Carolyn treated like the
plague."
I was surprised. "She loves me? Are you kidding?"
olyn.
This was indeed news to me.
"Yes. lfbat a bitch," Toni said, staring hard at Car"
She's really hated me from the first."
"Because you've been my clOSe and personal friend
for so many years?"
nOf' course. I.,Iet I s leave" tt
I agreed. lve slipped out, avoiding anyone we knew.
Toni drove off qUietly, not drawing any attention.
That, I felt,was good. Any more trOUble, and I'd have
probably lost my control. As it was, I felt tense, even with
all the alcohol in my system. I suggested to Toni that we
go to my place for some supplies, then out to eat. She nOdded,
glanced in her rearvie,,, mirror and made a u-turn. "To your
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apartment it is, I hear, and obey." I slipped a tape into
the tape deck and sank back into the seat. With eyes closed,
I listened to the Velvet Underground.
"So," Toni asked, pulling the mirror towards he:cwel:f.',
"when did you discover the Velvet UndergroLtlld," She began to
roll a ten.
"Oh, I can't really say. A student introduced me
to this albUR, though. I was sitting there in my office, with
the tape player going••• I think it ,las somothing like Bowie's
HUllkl:: Q2!Z playing at the time ••• and she pulled out a Velvet's
tape. I was hopelessly entranced. That was, oh, maybe a yoar
and a hal:f ago."
"I kne1. it had to be since -the last time I saw you.
That was t1vo years ago, wasn't it?" She lo.,ered the rolJ.ed
bill to the mirror. I watched her re:flection, still :feeling
pretty drunk. It was a; pleasant :feeling, I decided.
"Yes." I accepted the mi:l."ror :from her. ",lliere do
you 'I.ant to eat? II
"Well, let's rule out that :fish and chips place. H01.
about some :fried chicken? I have a real need for fried chicken."
"'Illio can refuse such a need?" I asked her.
"Not I. Let's go." We left.
We sat in the park, eating the Col.'s fried chicken.
"It certainly is a nice day. Why did I ever leave this place?"
"Perhaps," I suggested. "you've forgotten h01. the
••eather is during the stretch :from November to !'larCh?"
Toni grilLCl,ed. "Oh course. But then, days like this
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make a11, "the ,.inter cold worthwhile. ti She stretched ou"1; on
the lawn. "All. I love springl"
" of' love, why do you say Carolyn loves me'? I
f'ind that hard to believe, considering how shabbily I treat
her." Plus the f'act that I really didn't like Carolyn either.
Not too map.y people did, as :far as I knew.
tiShe told me so. Once, long ago, when we were in
college, Carolyn and I had a cl.ass together. She got really
pissed off w'hen you waJ,ked me to class one day. After the
hour, she told me to leave you alone, that you were her boyf'ri
end. ti
"Jesus,ti I muttered, "I never took her out, I only
paid her any attention because she was such a pest. Well,
in any case. ti I said. til don't love her. so I guess lim saf'e."
"But you don't have any girlfriend n01.. Carolyn probably
figux'es yOU'll ask her out••• the girl is living in a
delusion."
"Good point, Toni." I t11:1:'e,., a bone into the trash.
"I don't have a girlfri.end. 'I'hat' s probably why Carolyn seemed
so upset about your moving back here." I laug'hed. a short
ambiguous laugh. It sounded cruel to my ears.
"So. since you're not safe from Carolyn, what are you
going to do? I don't mean to be presumptljous. but••• " she
hesitated.
"But "hat'? Come on, out with it." I had a notion of'
what she was going to suggest, but I didn't want to express
it yet. I could be ,vrong. And I hate to be wrong.
"i,e1l, you do have a two bedroom apartment. and I do
Xleed a place to stay in town••• "
I smiled. "Then it's agreed. You will move in with
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me. Is that what you are trying to suggest?"
to say.ll
Toni nodded.. "Yes, that's exactly I'm attempting
"iVell, I th:i.nl<: it's great ••• I really hope it doesn't
ruin our :friendship."
"That remains to be discovered. What ,.muld you project
as the answer, if' I might ask?"
I stared at the sett:i.ng sun. It "as hard to adjust
to daylight saVin~St:l.me f'or others, not :for me ••• I J.:l.ked having
sunsets at 9. "I'd guess that I can't say. You know that I
never maJ.:e promises. n
"Yeah, well, maybe 1:1.ving with an existentialist Taoist
anthropology; prof'essor should be a learning eJeperience."
"It will be instructive for us both, I'd imagi.ne."