Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Some links and quotes

There is not much better in the world of web surfing than being able to read the writings of an author on a weekly basis, especially when the content is so wonderfully humorous.  Witness Drew Magary of Deadspin in the most recent Funbag installment:
All day long, from the commute on the train in the morning to the commute back, and for every reasonably attractive female that passes by my office door in between (but excluding images encountered, e.g., on the web), I do at least a quick imaginary mental-bang of dozens of women each day. Hell, they don't even have to be that attractive. I've fucked disabled fatties - in my head - just for a laugh. If you were to tally the total number of women you've had some mental relations with, how many do you think total in your lifetime?
What's the world population? Roughly that. The mind of any man is a sewer.
 The most amazing thing is that I actually said something along these lines, trying to explain my gender (actually, I learned today that gender isn't properly used here, instead I should say my sex, that being male, as gender is more of a grammatical distinction and not a differentation between male and female...anyway, I digress) and how we are all basically little boys at heart with uncontrollable desires to fornicate.  I don't think I'm as bad as Jim in the above qoute, or Drew for that matter, but I'm no saint.  That discussion took place at the end of a weird afternoon and evening I spent with my friend, which I'm still attempting to commit to this blog.
A little more Funbag before I put this post to bed:
After reading the story about Ina Garten snubbing a Make A Wish kid, I got to thinking what my wish would be. The 1st to come to mind (assuming I can't wish for endless wishes) would be nailing Brooklyn Decker or smoking a joint in the White House. But those seem too easy. Should I wish to be a manager for a baseball team or to be a head coach for an NFL team? Or do I go on tour with Prince? So many decisions.
I think if we're dealing with REALISTIC wishes, like those bestowed by the Make-A-Wish Foundation, your choices are pretty limited. No sex acts. No money. It's basically "meet someone famous" or "do one cool thing". And meeting famous people is boring as shit. I think I'd probably ask for a free trip or something. But let's face it, those poor Make-A-Wish people probably have to spend 80% of their day explaining to very sick cancer boys why they can't get a blowjob before they pass away. Because that's what every dying young boy wants. Even that kid who's getting to ride with dolphins and shit is probably thinking to himself the whole time, "Man, I really wish they had gotten me a blowjob." If a kid I know ever gets cancer, I'm buying him a blowjob, damn the consequences.
 Fine thoughts indeed from Mr. Magary.  But holy shit, did Ina Garten really snub a Make-A-Wish kid and his or her dream?  For shame.  No more watching you on Food Network or The Cooking Channel.  The young boy is only 6, so I guess having her make up for the snub by taking up Drew's idea is out of the question.  Note:  apparently the bad publicity forced Ina to relent and grant this wish.  It wouldn't seem so bad if she wasn't constantly tossing parties for her friends on her show.  Busy schedule, indeed.

Before I go, you remember Antoine Dodson from this post, right?  The YouTube star with the Bed Intruder Song (just Google search and you'll find it, trust me). Turns out he had a bit of a disagreement with the local law enforcement officers and was charged with misdemeanor possession of marijuana, as well as not having insurance for his BEENNZ (E-Class), failing to appear on a traffic warrant and speeding.  Here is a short but sweet post on The Root to get you some early background and give you a place to jump into the details more fully via the blogosphere.

Material from Deadspin used pursuant to terms of  Terms of Use policy.

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