Oh, the humanity

I just posted this on one of my Facebook friend's pages in response to this posting:

“As I look out the window, I see a very beautiful planet that seems very inviting and peaceful. Unfortunately, it is not. 

These days, we are constantly reminded of the unspeakable acts of violence and damage we can inflict upon one another, not just with our actions but also with our irresponsible words. 

We are better than this. We must do better,”
-CMD Scott Kelly

I agree we can do better, but a glance at human history depicts a different tale.  Man's inhumanity to man has been manifest in our cultures for untold generations.  It really is up to each of us to make the world a better place, a safer place, a place we can live in peace.  I may be a cynic, since I don't expect that to happen in my lifetime, but I will do my best to make it happen around me.

Now, I will admit I am cynical, possibly the biggest cynic among my friends.  But I also live by the Attorney Code (adopted from the Repo Code as related my Harry Dean Stanton in Repo Man, an excellent cult classic and probably Emilio Estevez's best work).
The Attorney Code:
I will not, through action or inaction, allow any harm to come to my client, nor through action or inaction, allow harm to come to my client's property. 
The corollary to the Code is that to the best of my ability, I will strive to make any situation better for all involved, if at all in my power to do so or if it is within my ability.
There is justice, there is fairness, and rarely do the two dovetail, but I have considered it my duty to make any and all attempts to make the world a fairer, more just place for the poor suffering bastards (that would be a good name for a band, I think it is already a name for a drink in the singular tense) that inhabit it, me included.

Enough pontificating.  Back to your regularly scheduled nonsense.

The Greatest Letter Ever Printed on NFL Team Letterhead via Deadspin

I usually only post Drew Magary's work from Deadspin here, but this is far too exceptionally wonderful to pass up the opportunity to make more widely known.  Yeah, I know, from this blog, more widely known is a misnomer, but grant me my delusions.
The Greatest Letter Ever Printed on NFL Team Letterhead

As an attorney, I wish I had been practicing back in the 70's.  If I wrote a letter like that today, I'd prolly lose my license.

The Other 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time

No need for explanations, just watch and enjoy.  Oh, and make sure you check out the original 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time in my post from December 30th of last year.

Fantasy Sports Warriors Slow Mock Draft

I am participating in a slow mock draft for the Fantasy Sports Warrior site.  This is a 16 team baseball draft, which consists of 22 rounds.  Typical 5x5 stats, that is to say, HR, R, RBI, AVG, SB & W, S, ERA, WHIP, K.  We will draft 13 offensive players (C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, CI, MI, OF, OF, OF, OF, OF, UT) and 9 Pitchers (SP and RP as we see fit.
Here's a link to the spreadsheet I have set up to track the draft on GoogleDocs.  Still trying to figure out how best to export this to Tableax Public, but don't hold your breath on that coming soon.  I have also embedded the spreadsheet below, but this may not be the best way to get the data, due to the size of the spreadsheet on this blog's page.  I have to think about this for the rest of the year before I decide if it works.

I will update as each round finishes or as time permits.  Any comments or suggestions regarding picks is appreciated. 
Note that my projections are based on the 2011 Bill James numbers, which I always found to be a bit conservative.  You can get your own glimpse of those projections by going to FanGraphs and looking over the individual player pages.  The projections tab will take to where you want to go.
Also, I will be running weekly mock drafts on Mock Draft Central for Fantasy Gameday come February until the end of spring training.  If you are interested in participating, just post a comment or go to the Fantasy Gameday site and leave us a message.  Or read my articles for the link to the drafts.  Hell, I'm easy.

The true story behind the Metrodome roof collapse

All we've been given to explain the collapse of the roof at the Metrodome is that one video taken by security cameras, that gave no clue as to the real cause.  Until now.  Thanks to the generous Walter Cherepinsky of Walter Football I am proud to present the truth to all my readers:

How did the roof collapse at the Metrodome? 

Note that you need to click on the image in this post for the GIF to play properly.  Or just go over to Walter's page at the link above.  We are all about giving you options at Planet 10.

100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time

There are a number of these collections on YouTube.  Just do a search for hh1edits and revel in the glory.  Here's the latest I've found:

Dane Sanzenbacher mugshot

Also from the wonderful Walter Football site, take a gander at the image for Dane Sanzenbacher on his Wikipedia page.  Beauty, eh?

CNN makes a boo-boo

Live TV is filled with a lot of inane talking heads, especially on CNN, Fox, and MSNBC.  But then you get a brilliant bit of unintended humor like this:



A tip o' the cap to Midwest Sports Fans for alerting me to this gem.

Funny or Die: You Look Like Shit

Not too sure about the posting rules here, but I am assuming I have a bit more freedom than on Facebook.  Here's Funny or Die's video montage:

You Look Like Shit Megamix - watch more funny videos

I have to admit, this struck a particular cord with me this weekend, after getting hit by a virus on Saturday night and then straining my back on Sunday evening/Monday morning.

Cami Secret Parody (Boob Apron)

Made by slave children overseas...

The Big Fuckin' Football Show: Pats/Browns

I recommend this highly.  Thanks to my good friend Andrea LaMont for the heads up.


I especially like Human Growth Harrison at the 1:10 mark.  "I played for Bill Belichick. He's a moody (mofo).    He hates Eric Mangini almost as much as he hates losing.  So when he loses to Eric Mangini, get the fuck out of the way of that 100 mph shitstorm."
Or Dungy Ghost almost immediately afterward:  "...his former protégé, which is the french word for peepee drinker."

Ochocinco: the voice of reason?

From NBC's PFT, quoting the imminently quotable Chad Ochocinco:

"If anyone else out there feels that Rex Grossman gives the Washington Redskins a better chance than Donovan McNabb to win a game with two minutes left on the clock," Ochocinco said, "they need to slap they selves."

All this because Mike Shanahan, the Redskins' head coach, tried to explain away his bizarre decision to bench his starting QB at the end of Sunday's game in Detroit against my hometown Lions in favor of the backup QB, "Sexy Rexy" Grossman.  Shanahan explained that McNabb lacked the cardiovascular fitness to run the two-minute drill.  Of course, I applaud the decision, since Grossman fumbled on the first snap from center, which led to Ndamukong Suh's stroll into the endzone while brushing off the attempted tackle of Santana Moss-see the video here.  I've railed against Shanahan in the past, most recently here on the FantasyGameday site (hey, check out our new, spiffy design!), but this act of desperation is a real reach.  Oh, well, helped the Lions get win number 2, so it's not all bad.
 UPDATE:  It now appears that the Redskins are working out JaMarcus Russell...now that is beyond my capacity to comprehend.  At least he's apparently been cleared of the earlier codeine possession charges, or at least a grand jury failed to indict him on that charge.  Now that he's a model citizen, it would not be unexpected to read or hear about how he is "in the best shape ever during his NFL career."  I did read that he's dropped 35 pounds, but that doesn't exactly make him a svelte, elusive target for the defense to pursue-I predict that despite his tribulations, if he were to sign with another team, it would not be long before he regained his lackadaisical manner on and off the field. He still looks like a tub of goo, but I wish him and Mikey S. well.

Pain

I am pretty sure I've praised Drew Magary of Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber before, especially his work on tearing apart dissecting Peter King's MMQB piece for SI.  This description of pain, however, deserves its own posting:

Pain is a terribly lonely, isolating thing. It's like depression, only it comes armed. By definition, pain is the brain's way of letting you know something is wrong somewhere in your body. In that sense, pain is a thought. And it's a thought that, no matter how hard you try, you cannot possibly express to someone else. It's all your own. No one can know exactly what it feels like. No one else can feel it jumping in and out of various points on your body, like Nightcrawler disappearing and reappearing out of thin air. No one else knows about those times when it subsides, only to cruelly come roaring back because you somehow displeased it in some manner. Pain will occupy your every thought while it's around. You cannot think about anything else, and you cannot engage with anyone else on a meaningful level while you're suffering from it because FUCK THIS HURTS. It makes you a different person, one who is monstrously self-absorbed and all too aware of that fact. Whenever my back gives out and my leg begins screaming in pain, I always picture myself at 60 years old, too far gone for any useful treatment and condemned to spend the rest of my existence memorizing the ceiling tiles.

I've suffered a bit of pain in my life, including back pain and a month long bout of gout in both feet.  I must say, that is a great description of what pain is and how it can topple you with its cruel indifference.  Still, I prefer to read about happier things, like this.

Some football information on the periphery

Walter Cherepinsky of the wonderful fantasy sports site, Walter Football, has some interesting observations with a football focus buried away in his week 5 picks report.  I will reproduce them for you, but I also suggest you bookmark his site if you are at all interested in football, fantasy or NFL, in any fashion.

Some random NFL notes I can't put anywhere else: 

1. Radio host Big Daddy Graham on 610 WIP (Philly sports talk) brought up a great point on Sunday night. He criticized Jason Avant for pointing toward the sky after he made a 6-yard reception against the Redskins. Like really, you need to thank God after a measly 6-yard catch? And where was God when the ball slipped out of your hands on the Hail Mary attempt at the end of the game? Avant should have looked toward the ground and made a fist at Satan at that point. 

2. If you've never had a concussion before, take a look into the mindset of Jay Cutler on Sunday night. Cutler tweeted while he had a concussion, and he had some interesting things to say on his Twitter account. 

3. What's up with NBC's stupid halftime feature called the Tiny Football League? First of all, no one cares about this. Except maybe Brad Childress and various child molesters. And second, I'm uncomfortable listening to a guy call two little kids "smooth and sweet." Not that there's anything wrong with that - I guess. 

 © 1999-2010 Walter Cherepinsky : all rights reserved

I will admit to following @NotJayCutler and @KingLaserFace on Twitter, but the tweets from Oct. 3rd are truly priceless (see link in item 2 above).

Megatron's No-Catch

Anyone who has read this blog for a while knows I play fantasy sports.  The degree of my involvement has grown over the years from my first auto-drafted Yahoo league to now, where I am in 27 fantasy football leagues this season.  Even if I had Calvin Johnson on all my teams (I have him on a significant number this year, to be sure), I don't think I would get this upset (WARNING:  BAD LANGUAGE.  NSFW.):



I am all about passionate intensity
/rereads Willam Butler Yeats The Second Coming/
but this is a bit over the top.
Mitch Albom of the Freep has a more reasoned take on the incident, if you are interested.
And...for a even better analysis of the controversy, take a look at Eric Huber's article on Fantasy Sharks.com.  As an attorney, I appreciate the way he analyzed the rules involved.

Handwriting analysis

It was my birthday, and my long time bartender and good friend Barbara had given me a birthday card.  It had a picture of a squirrel with an enormous scrotum on the cover, and made a joke about nuts inside.  She had included a handwritten note, which I thought was extremely touching.  I set it aside after reading it, and went back to making notes on the margins of the fantasy football newsletter I was reading.  The notes were for myF⁴PB (also know as Snowy Biscuit).  Barb came down and asked, "Could you read my note?"

"Of course."

"I have such bad handwriting," she complained.

"Don't be silly.  You write very well.  My handwriting, on the other hand, is awful.  Here," I said, turning my printout toward her.  "Look at this."

She took the paper and started reading out loud what I had just written about a head coach.  "That bald-headed sack of shit motherfu..."

"Umm, maybe the comment above that one?  At least, if you're gonna read it out loud."

She laughed.  "OK, your handwriting is worse.  But mine is bad, too."

"If that makes you happy."

A number of years ago I had made a New Year's resolution not to argue with Barbara, which had made life much easier, and I saw no reason to break it now.

Vignettes re Snowy Biscuit

Snowy Biscuit and I were sitting at the copper topped bar.  I had been explaining the differences in the meat they used for their burgers at 3B, including buffalo meat, and I asked if she had ever tried buffalo mozzarella.  "How is that possible?  Aren't all buffalo men?" she asked, absolutely serious.  I laughed so hard my stomach hurt; I had to lay my head on the bar I was laughing so hard.  When I recovered my composure, I said, "No, how in the world do you think buffalo make more buffalo?"  "Bulls," the Snowy One explained.  "I meant to say Bulls."

Prior to that, as Snowy and I were sitting at the bar, discussing fantasy football draft scheduling, two 20-something stunners wearing promotional sexy outfits, entered the bar by way of the back door.  Hot would have been an understatement.  I paused in mid-sentence when they strolled in, my eyes drawn to them immediately.  After a moment, when I had made sure my mouth wasn't hanging open, I returned my attention to my companion.  "They can't hold a candle to you."  She rewarded me with a stony gaze.  "I would never, ever do that."  I knew that.

The day manager at the restaurant was rebuking someone as Snowy took her place behind the bar.  The discussion had to do with arranging items properly in the bar.  "That's not even close to the level of the Queen of ODC," she said, indicating Snowy B. I let a beat pass, and exchanging a knowing glance with the Snowy One, said, "Well, it's pretty evident that you don't suffer from OCD," I finally said.  "Whatever," was the response, but Snowy turned to me when we were alone.  "I was waiting for you to pick up on that."  Did she ever doubt me, I wondered.

The Story of Antoine Dodson

I want to assure any of my readers that I realize rape is wrong.  Even so, this news report from Alabama makes me wonder why the local Detroit news stations cannot produce anything that even comes close to this wonderful piece of on-the-spot reporting.



There are plenty of remixes showing up on YouTube.  Here's my favorite:

WWTDD is back at it again, this time on the subject of Kate Gosselin's presumed botox misadventures:

"Kate Gosselin is built like a Gummy Bear and she has an army of young children but please don’t think that’s gonna stop her from dressing like an embarrassment or getting enough botox to paralyze Godzilla. She looks like the Grinch... Those poor kids. This bitch was scary enough with the constant flipping out and screaming, now a medical examination has concluded that she looks like the devil. Maybe when she goes to kiss her kids goodnight she can hold a flashlight under her chin too."

Anyone interested in the entire post, click Kate Gosselin might have gotten botox

WWTDD?

Recently discovered, I truly enjoy the irreverent posts on What Would Tyler Durden Do?, especially this partial quote from the post on Lindsay Lohan and her deposition:

"You could go to a civil war graveyard, bring someone back to life and even they would know more about what happened that night than Lindsay, just through sheer guesswork and deduction"

http://www.wwtdd.com/2010/05/look-who-sobered-up/

The Lost Art of Dislocation

4/1/80

The Lost Art of Dislocation
I had heard her approaching but instead of turning and greeting her, I continued doing what I'd been doing for the past ten minutes.
"What the hell are you doing?" Sheila asked.
I put the quarter in the slot, turned the handle and watched the arrow line up on the one hour mark.
“I would have thought that was evident." I now turned to face her, "I was bored and I began to pace. All this change in my pockets jingled, and it bugged the shit out of me. So I decided to get rid of it. These parking meters were more fun than throwing the coins down the sewer grating."
"Sure." She took my arm. "Let's go, we’re late. I know it's my fault, but let's not discuss that now."
I allowed her to lead me to her car. We drove in silence until we left town. Then: "Are you mad at me?"
"No." I stared out the window. Between wisps of cloud, I could see the stars. "I don't get angry with people. It's a waste of time."
"O.K. I forgot. You just dislocate from them, isn't that right?" I nodded. "Have you dislocated from me?"
I thought a moment. "I guess so."
"I'm sorry I was late. You know why I was held up.  We don't have to go into that now, do we?" Sheila was driving very mechanically, stiffly. I began to worry about our safety.
"No. Remember what we saw in the movie on Friday?
How the hero explained his attitude? 'People think I'm indifferent, but I just respect personal freedom,' or words to that effect. I try to feel the same way. So, to answer your question, No, we don't have to go into that now." I paused, then added, "Or ever."
"But then I'll feel guilty. Your devotion and trust outweigh mine," Sheila swung around a dead animal on the expressway.
I shrugged. "So? Who ever said that we were equal in our attitudes? Not me certainly. I believe that sameness leads to stagnation. A relationship needs excitement, a small amount of friction between the partners."
"Well," Sheila smiled, turning on the radio, "we certainly have friction."
I reached out, pushed the cassette into the tape player, cutting out the radio. I listened to the music, trying to identify it. Sheila spoke. "The trouble is you are too good a person."
"Ha!" I laughed. "I'm only good about certain things. I do have my bad traits, character faults. But that was a nice compliment. Thank you."
"What I meant was that you treat other people too nicely. What did Leo Durocher say? 'Good guys finish last.'"
"Tell me. Do you think I'm finishing last?"
Sheila shook her head. "No. So I guess Leo was wrong."
I finally identified the music. Roxy Music's For Your Pleasure. "I just don't want to even compete. If I avoid competition, how can I finish last, or even first? There is no reason for me to turn this into a contest. The hell with that."
"Don't you think that might turn some people off? That it might seem as though you don't care?"
"What is this 'some people' bullshit? Don't get cute with this third person crap. Tell me the truth, do you think I don't care?"
Sheila drove along in silence for a moment. I returned to my window, watching the stars thru the clouds. Finally, "No, I'm certain you do care. It's just that a girl likes to be shown how much she means to someone, sorry, how much she means to you."
Sheila stopped the car. We got out walked down to the shore. "I care," I told her.
Sheila slipped her arm around me, as we watched the sun rise over the ocean. Her face was warm against my shoulder.
We sat down on the sand, letting the waves wash over our legs. "I know. I just like to make sure. I'm insecure, you know."
The sun felt warm on my face. "I never would have guessed."


© Ivar G. Anderson 1980

Champagne

Elizabeth (Lily) Bollinger on champagne:

"I drink it when I'm happy and when I'm sad.

Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone.

When I have company I consider it obligatory.

I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and I drink it when I am.

Otherwise I never touch it, unless I'm thirsty."

3 Best Pieces of Advice

Via Monique Marvez:

"Love hard.
Forgive harder.
And get as happy as you can, as fast as you can."

Great advice.  Funny lady, too.

Decisions

Decisions
There is a sense of satisfaction when events work out without much effort on your part to let things develop naturally.  The refusal to abruptly react to an unexpected disturbance, but rather simply stepping back, observing calmly what has and is transpiring, and only deftly guiding circumstances with a gentle nudge-as opposed to a violent reaction-fits in well with an early training in non-confrontational existence.
It may be perceived as fear, being too paralyzed to act, but do not waver from the chosen course of (in)action.  It is often better to stand aside and all the tide to ebb and flow, since your acts will often have little effect on the transpiring events.
© Ivar G. Anderson 2010

Entrées I can make without a recipe

There are a number of dinners/lunches/breakfasts one can cook without having to look at a cookbook.  Here is my list:
1.  Spaghetti and meatball (or sausage, shrimp, etc.)
2.  Chicken saltimbucca
3.  Ribs
4.  Grilled Salmon
5.  Grilled Tuna steak
6.  Macaroni and cheese with crispy crust
7.  Sausages with peppers and onions
8.  Pork tenderloin
9.  Shredded Brussel Sprouts with mustard
10.  Roasted Aspargus
11.  Baked potato rubbed with salt
12.  Fajitas
13.  Fried Rice
14.  Risotto
15.  Sweet potato fries
16.  Moque Chou
17.  Mango Salsa
18.  Guacamole

Top Movies

Here is a list of my all-time favorite movies. 

1. Streets of Fire
2. Repo Man
3. The Man Who Would Be King
4. The Sin of Harold Diddlebock
5. Caddyshack
6. Rio Lobo
7. Kelly's Heroes
8. Blazing Saddles
9. Young Frankenstein
10. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
11. Army of Darkness
12. Cousin, Cousine
13. Where Eagles Dare
14. Princess Bride
15. Animal House
16. Strictly Ballroom
17. Phantasm
18. The Natural
19. All's Well That Ends Well
20. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
21. Grosse Pointe Blank
22. The Big Red One
23. The Sandlot
24. Casablanca

Auction Value spreadsheet

I've put together an auction value spreadsheet which incorporates my values for hitters and pitchers, too.  Since auctions are gaining in popularity with ESPN, Yahoo and CBS all offering the option, I thought it wise to offer some sort of guide post for the fantasy world.
I also managed to grab values from 3 sources and average the auction values.  Here's the link to Google Docs where my 2010 MLB Average Auction Values spreadsheet resides.  I am not entirely certain this is the best source of information for those of you in auction drafts, but consider it as another source.  My advice is to find a source of auction values that you trust and run with that.  Oh, and don't forget to adjust for inflation.

Target Rankings spreadsheet for fantasy baseball

Thanks to the efforts of Chris Spencer at Fantasy Baseball Trade Market, I have put together a Target Rankings spreadsheet based on my projections for the top 350 (actually, with the adjustments I made to the list, both are now 349) pitchers and batters in MLB for 2010.  The fun part about this tool is that it let's you rank your roster after a draft by selecting the players you drafted and with a simple SUM function, see how close you are to your leagues targets out of the gate.  You can then adjust your roster to adapt to the perceived deficiencies on your team.  Here is the link to a 10 team league and a 12 team league spreadsheet.  You can adjust the results by altering the values on the BB target worksheet, changing the number of  hitters and/or pitchers your league uses and of course, the target values you need to succeed.
Note: Both the 12 team and 10 team spreadsheets are available on Scribd, too.

2010 Fantasy Baseball Tiered Cheatsheet and Projections spreadsheets

After much number crunching, I have compiled the projections from 11 different sources and put together my spreadsheets for both pitchers and batters, as well as my first version of the tiered cheatsheet that I've produced the last couple of seasons.  This year I went with a ranking system for the spreadsheets, and ended up with a zTotal column for ranking purposes.  We'll see how it all shakes out, but it seems that the larger and more varied the source of my data, the deviation will be lessened and the risk of one set of projections skewing my results is reduced.  I will post these on FantasyGameday sometime during this week, depending on our publishing schedule.  In the meantime, here are the links to the 3 fantasy draft tools that I've posted to Google Docs:
Hitters rankings
Pitchers rankings
Tiered cheatsheet

A curse

I listen to ESPN Radio's Fantasy Focus podcasts during baseball and football seasons, just to pick up advice regarding my fantasy teams.  Recently, Nate Ravitz and Matthew Berry have returned to talk about baseball, and in the most recent podcast on February 9, 2010, a listener named Lucas cursed Nate with the following:
"I wish mediocre to sub-par things upon you in all your future endeavors."
Personally, I love this level of curse, as it seems entirely possible to occur.  I shall make an effort to use this whenever appropriate from this point on.  It will probably result in less rancor than my current curse from The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai in the 8th Dimension:
Lord John Worfin:  "Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life."

Excerpt from Drew Magary's column on Deadspin

I was reading Drew Magary's column on Deadspin at a local restaurant, and had to stop several times and actually tear my eyes away from the print before me when I tried to read this portion of the article, due to uncontrollable laughter.  That probably indicates that something is seriously wrong with how my humor center in my brain is wired, but here it is for you to decide.  Be forewarned, this is not for the scatalogically challenged.


"Jake sends in a story I call LOOK WHO'S POOPING:

My kid was about 1 or 1 1/2 when he started going through a poop phase. He was obsessed with poop. He would insist on looking at a shitty diaper after he destroyed it, with a "yeah that's right, say my name, bitch!" look on his face. He would talk about it all the time in public ("Daddy I have a HUGE LOAD in my pants"). He would barge into the bathroom when I was dropping anchor and insist on taking a look at my craftwork. He even went through a period where he would stick his finger in his ass and then put it in his mouth and say "it's yummy" (by the way this was super fucked up and scarred me for life).
So one day, just after breakfast, he drops a load and my wife goes to change him. She lays him back on the changing table, takes his shitty diaper off, wraps it up, and turns to put it in the diaper genie. She looks away and then turns back, leaning over him to coo or sing or make goo goo noises or whatever chicks do. What she did not realize was that the little fecophile had stuck his hand down into his ass while she was looking away and now had what could best be described as a shit mitten. So she is singing away and he reaches up and fish hooks her with the shit mitten. Just jams his hand in her mouth and yanks down on her jaw, scraping poo off his hand with her teeth (ever eat an artichoke?). It took a second or two for her to realize he had shit all over his hands...and that she, therefore, now had a mouthful of baby shit. She gagged and was so disgusted that she promptly VOMITED ON THE BABY and started crying hysterically, which of course made the baby start crying. I heard the commotion and by the time I walked in, they were both screaming and crying, covered in regurgitated Special K and poo. My wife ran over to the bathroom and I actually saw her SPIT POO in the sink (definitely NOT a turn on). Meanwhile, the baby quickly went from crying to laughing, looks up at me innocently and says "Daddy, I'm POOOPY!" Roger that.

That reminds me of a story my wife once told me. When she worked in an office, she had a co-worker named Mike (not his real name). One time, Mike brought his three-year-old to work with him, to show her his desk and all that. Anyway, the kid has to go to the bathroom, so Mike takes her and she goes and does her thing. Then, she comes out of the stall and says to Mike, HEY DADDY, GUESS WHAT? Mike says, "What?" And the kid takes her finger, smeared in poop, and drags it across his upper lip. No lie. A Dirty Sanchez from your own kid. KIDS ARE FUCKING EVIL."

 © Deadspin 2010

Failed Exercise

Failed Exercise

Other issues
should take precedence
Yet I continually return
to this minor annoyance.
I find myself
questioning
exactly how this situation
came to be,
asking what other path
would have avoided
the disaster.

Running over my
neighborhood streets,
I repeatedly rehash
the stimulus & response,
searching for other avenues
that were not pursued,
taking my mind off
the occasional hip and calf pain
as I stride along,
pacing myself.

I dissect perceived mistakes
   (missteps taken)
Strict objectivity is
impossible, but
subjective interpretation
provides
a lack of comprehension.

Chalk it up to
divergent interests,
misunderstood motives,
misperceived intentions
All leading to
a breakdown of communication.
Intended assistance
rebuffed
     rudely;
Deep-seated anger
destroying what was
and what could have been.

Realize:
It is time
to move onward,
withdraw the
     extended
branch
and mark it as
a failed exercise.

© Ivar G. Anderson 2009

How to Annoy People

This has been floating around the internet in one form or another for as long as I've been online.  My aunt and uncle sent me this version, and since I haven't been posting much of late, I thought I'd just toss it out there.

101 Ways To Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

45 Life Lessons

Just a little something I found while reading my e-mail this week. We've all prolly seen examples of this floating about, but this sums it up nicely:

This is something we should all read at least once a week.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

2009 NFL Cheatsheets

I've created the 2009 Cheatsheets for fantasy football which are posted at GoogleDocs. I will be updating the sheets as more data comes out of training camps and the preseason games. Download and draft well, my droogs.

BTW, the sheets are also available on Scribd if you don't like Google for some reason. Personally, I use Google for many things and see no reason to avoid it, but that's just me.

You can also read a bit about the cheatsheets on the website that I occasionally write for, FantasyGameday.

Midnight poem

Stillness

Tonight
I reflect on
Life’s currency-

a plate with orange rinds
&
a knife-
my focus now

I ask myself:
“How do you adapt?”

Ebb & flow,
ride with the tides
of daily existence.

Take comfort
where it exists
&
Provide support
as best you can.

The house resonates-
-strongly scented-
of many types of flowers
The blooms are
Beautiful…

I cannot fathom
what she feels
I try, but
my heart/mind
cannot conceive of
how the uncertainty
upsets her fragile balance.

I have no
answers-
My comforting ways
are suspect.

How I do not want to believe:
“We are all alone.”
at this particular point.

The future of waste disposal

As I watched this video (courtesy of Fried Rice Thoughts), I found myself thinking of the waste of food being committed. And also how I'd ever produce anything like 20 golfballs or 18 hotdogs that I'd need to flush.
Take a look for yourself:

null - Watch more free videos
IanCasselberry of the aforementioned Fried Rice Thoughts blog suggests that maybe this is the future of incriminating evidence disposal? Chew on that, CSI!

Running update

I finally broke a 9 minute mile. Yea me! It happened because there was a slightly faster runner on the indoor track. I passed her at the start of my run, but then she overtook me after 5 or 6 laps. I don't know why, but following a faster runner always makes me push myself, and even though she finished her run before I completed my mile and a third, I still was pleasantly surprised to see I had run the first mile in 8:54. The goal now is to improve my endurance and get up to a 5K distance by the end of April so I can start running in some races when the weather improves.
Brian is improving his endurance as well. He ran intervals on Tuesday night and I'm proud to report that he is still doing a complete weight training circuit 3-4 times a week. My weight lifting is still improving, although I still can't bench press my weight like I was able to do in my 30s. Then again, I weighed about 30 pounds less when I was in my 30s, so maybe if I can keep exercising on a regular basis, I will be able to lift the equivalent of my body mass.
With Daylight Savings Time arriving this Sunday, it should be possible to run outdoors in the evenings. Especially if the temperature warms up like the weatherman is predicting. As much as I enjoy the sheltered comfort of the Y's indoor track, it gets boring running in circles, especially since each lap is only 1/17 of a mile. I don't know how I was ever able to run 6 miles or more on that tract without going bonkers (Oh, yeah, the aerobics classes used to be held in the gym, providing a welcome visual diversion; much better than the current youth basketball classes).

Fantasy Baseball Tools

I've been experimenting with Access databases and Excel spreadsheets as tools for drafting in fantasy baseball leagues. I've created a Two-Tiered Cheatsheet, as well as a compilation of the 2009 projections from PECOTA, CHONE, Oliver and Marcel (I realize only fantasy geeks will understand the references-just be advised that these are the four main stat projection services available). I weeded out what I don't normally look at in evaluating players and kept the rest for both pitchers and hitters.

I must express my deep affection and heart-felt thanks to my wife, Lee Ann, for her assistance in setting up the database for the Projections Compilation. I may have been able to fumble the database together after a few frustrating days of work, but she made it happen in a matter of hours.

I've saved all the spreadsheets to Google Docs (what a great service!) so anyone that is interested can download them for personal use. I also put a link to the spreadsheets in my articles on Fantasy Gameday for easy access.

Over the weekend, I also put together a spreadsheet for one of my readers who plays on CBS (formerly known as CBS Sportsline). I transferred all the projections from CBS's player pages to a spreadsheet, then wrote a formula to value those players based on the league settings for the reader's league. I think I could do this for any league at this point, but I doubt I'd use the CBS projections now that I have my own Projection spreadsheet. If anyone is interested, drop me a line and I'll see what I can put together.

Projections spreadsheet
Projections webpage
Two Tiered Cheatsheet spreadsheet
Two Tiered Cheatsheet webpage

Watchmen Widget

Fantasy Baseball Information Sources

Fantasy Baseball Information Sources

1.    Fantasy Pros 911

2.    KFFL
        (good for football, too)

   3.  Mock Draft Central

   4.  CouchManagers

   5.  RotoTimes


   6.  RotoWorld


   7.  Sports Grumblings


   8.  Sport Fanatics


   9.  Crooked Pitch


10.    ESPN

      (Eric Karabell’s blog especially)


11.    CBS Sports

      (good basic cheatsheets)

In honor of Valentine's Day (tomorrow)

Poke My Birthday Enter your birthday and let's surprise you! Month January February March April May June July August September October November December

Your First Name:

Shaping Up

So, my youngest son had been bugging me to use our Y membership for a few months. I decided that his idea was worthwhile and we've been going to exercise 3 nights a week and on weekend afternoons. I was surprised that I could still run a mile without pause, altho' my first efforts were not real running, more like jogging. I used to get upset when I was running 10Ks at a sub 7 minute a mile clip and people would remark, "Oh, so you're a jogger, huh?"
"No," I'd patiently respond, "I run. Anything under 8 minutes a mile is running."
Yeah, pretty humbling to trudge along so slow now. I am happy to announce, however, that I can now approach a 9 minute mile pace, and last night was able to run an extra 3 laps at a 31 second pace (the indoor track at the Y takes 17 laps to make a mile).
I haven't overdone the weight lifting this time, either, and haven't felt that horrible pain in all my muscles 24 hours after a lifting session.
Brian is extremely interested in continuing our sessions, although he balks at the concept of disrobing in the open of the men's locker room, and doesn't appreciate the sauna the way I do after an exercise session. We both like to unwind in the whirlpool after finishing our workouts.
Brian and I even played a bit of racquetball last Sunday, but I realized early on that I had forgotten some of the rules (I've since refreshed my memory). I suspect it will take him a bit of practice to be competitive with even me, but so long as he is willing, I'll reserve a court every weekend and we'll bang the ball around for a half hour or so.
My goal is to run a local 5K race this spring (I'm thinking May would be a good time, but April is a possibility) and not totally embarrass myself by finishing last. I have 2 months to build up my endurance and lungs after about 8 years of basically sedentary living.

What Makes a Great Steakhouse

Here's a great post from Adam D. Robert's The Amateur Gourmet website. Since I am going to Michael Symon's new restaurant in the refurbished Book-Cadillac Hotel, Roast, in mid-March, it fits in nicely with my new-found desire to start updating this beast more often than once or twice a year.

VGT's The Omnivore's 100

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

I count only 27 items I haven't tried, and several of those will never pass my lips. Others I will certainly make an effort to taste before I take the dirt nap.
You can find the website Very Good Taste if you click the link.

Codes to have this game on your page HERE!

My chances of surviving a Zombie Apocalypse

49%

Looking for x-ray technician schools?

Paris photo

For those who appreciate The City of Light:

My Personal DNA Report

My Personal Dna Report

bLaugh.com for Sunday, January 28, 2007

I joined another new RPG game. If you would like to take a look, here is a link:
Battle Dawn



For every visitor, I get additional resources for my colony, so click away. Thanks.

86%

Go Tigers

by Beane27

Vampires vs Werewolves

I joined a new online game, where you choose between the werewolves and vampires. I am a vampire and if you click on this link, I will bite you and get some blood. You will also have an opportunity to join the game, but that is not necessary. Here's the link:
Bite me
Thanks for the blood!

Elementary

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

Yaarrggh-My Pirate Name

Your Pirate Name Is...

Mad Dagger Dan

What's Your Pirate Name?

Slow and Steady? Really?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

What Type of Drink Are You?

You Are Beer!

You don't need to get totally wasted when you hit the bars. More of a social drinker, you just like to have fun with your friends. And as long as the beer keeps flowing, you're a happy camper. But don't mix things up: "Beer Before Liquor, Never Been Sicker!"

What Alcoholic Drink Are You?

Birth Date Significance

Your Birthdate: September 7

You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy. And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you. Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights. You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice! Your strength: Your self sufficiency Your weakness: You despise authority Your power color: Maroon Your power symbol: Hammer Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Tarot Card Signifier

You Are The Moon

You represent the unconscious side of life, what happens in dreams. You are capable of great genius - but also of great madness. Emotions tend to be primal for you, both your fears and your fantasies. Your intuition is always right, listening to it is the difficult part. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a very important journey - and a very difficult one. Some of your deepest dreams will be realized, as well as some of your deepest nightmares. Follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weaknesses. You are taking a voyage to the center of yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Logic Test

You Are Incredibly Logical

Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic You think rationally, clearly, and quickly. A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

How Logical Are You?

Superhero

What Superhero are you?

You Are Batman

Billionaire playboy by day. Saving the world by night. And you're not even a true superhero. Just someone with a lot of expensive toys!

What Superhero Are You?

Watch the video for "Dr. Tran."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FO0kRE5OTZI

What OS are you?

Which OS are You?

If my life were a high-concept movie, it would be The Godfather (1972) meets Robots (2005).

Take the What Is Your High-Concept Movie? quiz.

I'm a Mandarin!

You're an intellectual, and you've worked hard to get where you are now. You're a strong believer in education, and you think many of the world's problems could be solved if people were more informed and more rational. You have no tolerance for sloppy or lazy thinking. It frustrates you when people who are ignorant or dishonest rise to positions of power. You believe that people can make a difference in the world, and you're determined to try.

Talent: 36%
Lifer: 38%
Mandarin: 67%

Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz.

Which Sports Car Are You? (Version 2.0)

I'm a Mercedes SLK!

You appreciate the finer things in life. You have a split personality - wild or conservative, depending on your mood. Wherever you go, you like to travel first class. Luxury, style, and fun - who could ask for more?

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Cartoon Character Quiz

What Cartoon Character are You?

Chimp-O-Matic

Chimp-O-Matic

Two Variable Intuition Test

Much More Scientific You have: 62% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and 40% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored slightly below average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition.Keep in mind that very few people score high on both! In effect, you can compare your two intuition scores with each other to learn what kind of intuition you're best at. Your scientific intuition is stronger than your emotional intuition. Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake. Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences. Try my other test! The 3 Variable Funny Test It rules.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 44% on Scientific You scored higher than 3% on Interpersonal

Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Come join my Daily Trivia Challenge
Buckaroo's Daily Challenge

What Country am I?

You're Thailand!

Calmer and more staunchly independent than almost all those around you,
you have a long history of rising above adversity. Recent adversity has led to questions
about your sexual promiscuity and the threat of disease, but you still manage to attract a
number of tourists and admirers. And despite any setbacks, you can really cook a good
meal whenever it's called for. Good enough to make people cry.
Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid